How to lead with greater confidence
Confidence takes practice. Confidence is a skill not a trait. It is like a muscle and the more you use it the stronger it gets.
Have you ever met somebody, either in a social or professional situation, and been in awe of how much confidence they have? Did you then walk away and tell yourself, “she or he was probably born confident”, “they are obviously an extrovert” or “they must be an overachiever”? The truth is none of us are born with confidence.
We all suffer from confidence issues, a lack of self-belief and “imposter syndrome” at different points in our lives either in our personal lives, career, appearance or the way we see ourselves compared to others. Some of us suffer a lot and some suffer a little, but lack of confidence shows up in even the most seemingly confident people.
I have suffered from confidence issues and self-doubt. Whether that’s been walking into a boardroom of strangers and asking myself, “Should I be here? Am I good enough?”, doing a presentation and wondering if my audience was engaged or meeting new people and wondering if they liked me.
My evolution from a shy teenager to a confident chief executive has been a long and winding path with many experiences along the way that moved me towards the point where I could approach a boardroom and kill the self-doubt before I stepped through the door, but let’s just say that transformation didn’t happen overnight!
Confidence takes practice. Confidence is a skill not a trait. It is like a muscle and the more you use it the stronger it gets. Women seem particularly prone to experiencing confidence issues that hold them back.
According to KPMG’s women leadership study
Sixty-seven per cent of women reported they needed support building confidence to feel like they could become leaders.
Men not only negotiate pay rises four times more often than women, but they also negotiate harder requesting 30 per cent more than women do.
There are many things we can do to build our confidence. Some of them are just small changes to our mindset and others we have to work on for a bit longer to create new habits.
What you can do to build your confidence
1) Confidence is contagious
Confidence is contagious, just like negativity is contagious. When you surround yourself with other like-minded and confident people, it is like having a massive surge of positivity thrown into your day. Spending time around confident people is likely to rub off on you and help you build your own confidence.
2) Your words become your actions
A single word or sentence has the power to change your mood. It can set off a negative mindset or boost your confidence. It’s important to practise using words that help us build our confidence.
Start telling yourself: “I am kind and helpful, I am great at my job, I am worthy, I am a loyal friend, I can achieve this, I’m going to apply for that promotion, I deserve it.”
Positive language will have a positive impact on your day and on those around you. Feeling more confident in yourself needs to start with changing the way you speak to yourself, the way you perceive yourself and most importantly the way you treat yourself. Every day, think about the things that make you unique, special and wonderful.
3) Change your story
The stories we tell ourselves can negatively impact our confidence. Our inner critic is highly judgmental and can leave us feeling miserable and stuck. It can even sabotage our success.
Our inner critic can say things like: I’m going to fail, I feel guilty, I’m underprepared, I don’t fit in, I need more skills or I’m not good enough. We need to interrupt this story from taking control and create a more empowering story that helps us feel confident to take action. Change your story – change your life!
